No, I am not insane. I swear this is true.
My friend Tim and I just came out of a movie theater and went for a coffee. The nearest Starbucks turned out to be inside a Target store, and in there, we were confronted by three earnest young people in Starbucks uniforms.
Pushing instant coffee.
I knew then what happened. We were in the correct universe when we entered the theater. When we exited, though, we stumbled into the wrong universe.
An evil, alternate universe
The same universe where James T. Kirk is a ruthless war monger and Spock’s chin is adorned by a demonic goatee.
And Starbucks sells instant coffee.
Madness!
The three earnest young Starbucks minions espoused the wonderful properties of this revolutionary new thing called instant coffee, like it’s never existed before, and how wonderful it is because of how finely it’s been ground.
And get this – you know what it tastes like?
Instant coffee!
Amazing.
Please, someone light a beacon, and lead me back to the correct universe. Please?






